Son: Mommy, Mommy! My head hurts!
Mom: Shut up and get away from the dart
board!
Son: Mommy, Mommy! My teacher says my head is too
big.
Mom: Shut up and get your hat from the garage, so your father can
bring the car in!
Son: Mommy, Mommy, why do other kids tell me I have a big
head?
Mom: Don't worry about them. Now take your cap and go get me 40
lbs of potatoes at the store.
Son: Mommy, mommy, can I lick the bowl?
Mom: Shut up and flush.
Son: Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's on fire!
Mom: Shut up and get the marshmallows!
Son: Mommy, Mommy! Is this the way to make pickles?
Mom: Shut up and get back in the barrel!
Son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't want hamburgers for
supper!
Mom: Shut up or I'll grind your other hand.
Son: Mommy, Mommy! My egg tastes bad.
Mom: stop complaining! Just eat it!
Son: Mommy, Mommy!
Mom: What is it now!
Son: Do I have to eat the beak as
well?
Son: Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all your
scabs?
Mom: Shut up and eat your cornflakes!
Son: Mommy, Mommy!
When will we have this nice yellow pudding again?
Mom: Shut up, you know that grandma's leg is no longer
infested.
Son: Mommy, Mommy! Why is daddy running
away?
Mom: Shut up, and help me reload the
shotgun!
Son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I play in the
sandbox?
Mom: Not until I find a better place to bury
Daddy.
Son: Mommy, Mommy, I want to play with Grandpa
now!
Mom: Keep quiet, the coffin stays closed
today!
Son: Mommy, mommy, are you sure this is how to learn to
swim?
Mom: Shut up and get back in the
sack!
Son: Mommy, mommy, what is a delinquent
child?
Mom: Shut up, light your cigarette, drink your whisky and deal
those cards.
Son: Mommy, Mommy! Why do I have to hop
everywhere?
Mom: Shut up or I'll chop off the other
leg!
Son: Mummy, Mummy, Sally won't come skipping with me.
Mom: Don't be cruel dear, you know it makes her stumps
bleed.
Son: Mommy, Mommy, I don't like running in
circles!
Mom: Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the
floor.
Son: Mommy, Mommy I don't want my hair
braided.
Mom: Shut up and lift the other
arm.
Son: Mommy, mommy, can I have a cookie?
Mom: Yes, the cookies are on the top
shelf.
Son: But mommy, I haven't got any
arms!
Mom: No arms, no cookie...
Son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I go to the toilet?
Mom: Yes Johnny I'll take you in a minute.
Son: Can Granny take me?
Mom: Why?
Son: Her hand shakes.
Son: Mommy, Mommy! Grandpa's going out!
Mom: Well throw some more gasoline on him then
Son: Mommy, mommy, can I buy a new dress?
Mom: You know it won't fit over your iron
lung.
Son: Mommy, Mommy, can I wear a bra now? I'm 16..
Mom: Shut up Albert....
Son: Mommy, Mommy! How come sis gets to watch TV and I
can't?
Mom: Shut up or I'll cut your ears off,
too!
Son: Mommy, Mommy! I can't breathe!
Mom: Good, it's working.
Son: Mommy, Mommy! can I have a bike for Christmas?
Mom: Nope. You already have your
wheelchair.
Son: Mommy, Mommy! Can Sheldon come out and play baseball
with us?
Mom: Now you know your little brother has no arms and legs!
Son: Yeah, we know. We just wanna use him for second base.
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