FUNNY QUOTES          

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Winning isn't everything. It is the only thing.
Vince Lombardi

Stardom isn't a profession; it's an accident.
Lauren Bacall

Don't go on looking at me like that, because you'll wear your eyes out.
   Emile Zola

Stardom isn't a profession; it's an accident.
Lauren Bacall

Winning isn't everything. It is the only thing.
Vince Lombardi

Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.
Reggie Leach

Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.
Reggie Leach

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.
Francis Bacon

Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.
Khalil Gibran

The only chain that can bind love is an endless chain of compliments.
Helen Rowland

If you are afraid of your future, you don't have a present.
James Petersen

The past is a foreign country: they do things differently there.
L. P. Hartley

There is no failure except in no longer trying.
Elbert Hubbard

Slang is a language that rolls up its sleeves, spits on its hands and goes to work.
Carl Sandburg

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty - she's ninety-seven today and we don't know where the hell she is.
Ellen Degeneris

The game of life is not so much in holding a good hand as playing a poor hand well. 
H. T. Leslie

When you give the reins to reason, then the imagination is repressed.
Iqbal Ahmad

A smile is a curve that can set things straight.
Anonymous

Ability will never catch up for the demand for it.
Malcolm S. Forbes

Madness is part of all of us, all the time, and it comes and goes, waxes and wanes.
Otto Friedrich

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