FUNNY QUOTES             

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People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
George W. Bush

A first rate soup is better than a second rate painting."
Abraham Maslow

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
Josh Billings

Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

Take the time to come home to yourself everyday."
Robin Casarjean

The executive exists to make sensible exceptions to general rules.
Elting E. Morison

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Voltaire

Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done."
Carl Friedrich Gauss, when informed that his wife is dying

He who is shipwrecked the second time cannot lay the blame on Neptune. 
English proverb

They say you should not suffer through the past. You should be able to wear it like a loose garment, take it off and let it drop. 
Eva Jessye

The greatest wisdom often consists in ignorance.
Baltasar Gracian

Never eat more than you can lift.
Miss Piggy

Another good reducing exercise consists in placing both hands against the table edge and pushing back
Robert Quillen

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey.
Thomas A. Edison

Living is entirely too time-consuming."
Irene Peter

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
Oscar Wilde 

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Mark Twain

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
Samuel Goldwyn

It is awfully important to know what is and what is not your business.
Gertrude Stein

Perhaps too much of everything is as bad as too little."
Edna Ferber

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