** Think before you think!
Stanislaw Lec
** Under the
most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume,
humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well
pleases.
Harvard's Law
** Never replicate a
successful experiment.
Fett's Law
** Research is what
I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
Von Braun
** It is not an
optical illusion, it just looks like one.
Phil White
** Cooke's Law
In any decision situation, the amount of relevant information available
is inversely proportional to the importance of the decision.
** Ross's Law
Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they always point upwards
from
the floor-especially in the dark.
** Calkin's Law of
Menu Language:
The number of adjectives and verbs that are added to the description of
a menu item is in inverse proportion to the quality of the dish.
** Anthony's Law of
Force:
Don't force it; get a larger hammer.
** Anthony's Law of
the Workshop:
Any tool when dropped, will roll into the least accessible
corner of the workshop.
** Arnold's
Laws of Documentation:
(1) If it should exist, it doesn't.
(2) If it does exist, it's out of date.
(3) Only documentation for useless programs transcends the first two
laws.
** Lazlo's Chinese
Relativity Axiom Law: No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic
your defeats
Approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less.
**The Law of Common Sense
Never accept a drink from a urologist.
**The Law of Reality
Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
**The Law of Self Sacrifice
When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
**The Law of Volunteering
If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.
**The Law of Avoiding Oversell
When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
**The Law of Motivation
Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.
**Boob's Law
You always find something in the last place you look.
**Weiler's Law
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
**Law of Probable Dispersal
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
**Law of Volunteer Labor
People are always available for work in the past tense.
**Conway's Law
In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be
fired.
**Iron Law of Distribution
Them that has, gets.
**Law of Cybernetic Entomology
There is always one more bug.
**Law of Drunkenness
You can't fall off the floor.
**Heller's Law
The first myth of management is that it exists.
**Osborne's Law
Variables won't; constants aren't.
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