New Jokes

santa-clause one day a little boy wrote to santa clause; please santa send me a sister; santa wrote him back and siad ok kid send your mother and in 9month u can have ur sister.

Doorhole Q:Why does the homsi get all his family into the bathroom when he wants to take a shower?A:In order not to peer at him from the doorhole!

3 steps How do u put an elephant in the fridge by 3 steps? 1)open the fridge 2)put the elephant 3)close the fridge How do u put a girrafe in 4 steps?1)open the fridge 2)take out the elephant 3)put the giraffe 4)close the fridge The lion had a party for all animals,all came except the giraffe,why?she was still in the fridge.

Point Of Commun * What is The Point Of Common Between A Gay & A Christmas Tree? * They Both Have Balls For Decoration

The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present. "Who is the most obedient?" he asked. "Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?" Five small voices answered in unison. "Okay, daddy, you get the toy."

V.A.T New Law Warning The ministry of Finance will be now charging 10% tax on all love affairs. Each couple will be fined a kiss for his Excellency every time they have sexual intercourse.

Genie's Lamp A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes. The Genie said, "Nope...due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So... what'll it be?" The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other." The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Gadzooks, lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish." The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, is good in bed and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time and is faithful. That's what I wish for a good mate." The Genie let out a long sigh and said, "Let me see that map again."

HOW GUYS SELECT THE GIRL THEY WANT TO MARRY: A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money. The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed. The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed. The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed. The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money, and then he married the one with the largest breasts. Men are Men.