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Arabic Joke

Abed Abed comes to school one morning all beaten up, his face all blue, and swollen. The teacher asked him:
Teacher: "What happened to you poor Abed?"
Abed: "Our house is very small so I have to sleep with my parents. Yesterday night, after turning off the lights, my mom said: 'Chou?' and my dad replied: 'Chou?' so I also replied 'Chou' and my parents beat me up!
The next day, Abed arrived at school also beaten up. Worried, the teacher asked him what has happened. Abed answers that the same thing happened. So the teacher thinks for a while and tells him not to answer 'Chou' tonight.
The day after, Abed arrives totally beaten up, even more than before. The teacher surprised asked him what happened? Abed: "Well, when my mom said 'Chou?' and my dad replied 'Chou?', I stayed quiet as you said. After 10 minutes my dad said 'Gité?' my mom replied 'Naam git' so I said : 'Wein kinto?' !!!

Homsi Homsi #1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
Homsi #2: "No, who wrote it?"

Twins What about the homsi wife who gave birth to twins?
Her husband is out looking for the other man.

Time Homsi: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"
MAN: "It's 3:15."
Homsi: (puzzled look on his face) "You know, it's the wierdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."

Left! A homsi was driving down the highway to Disneyland when he saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT".
After thinking for a minute, he said to himself "oh well !" and turned around and drove home.

Women of the World One day, the women of the world got together and decided not to work anymore. No more laundry, no more cooking, no more cleaning, etc.
So they all went to their respective countries and homes and decided to meet again the following week to report progress.

A week later, the French lady is telling about her experience: I went home and told my husband that I will not do housework from now on. I will not clean, will not cook. The first day I didn't see anything. The second day I didn't see anything.
The third day, he brought me breakfast in bed and cooked a delicious meal for lunch.

Then came the British lady's turn: I went home and told my husband that I will not do housework from now on. I will not clean, I will not cook. The first day I didn't see anything. The second day I didn't see anything. The third day, he went to the supermarket and did all our grocery shopping, came back and cleaned the whole house.

Em el 'Abed came last with her story:
Ana reht 3al beit. Eltello, ya aboul 3abed, ana ma-ba'a rah eshteghel. Ma-ba'a otbokh, ma-ba'a kannes, ma-ba'a ekwi. Awwal yom ma sheft shi. Tani yom ma sheft shi.
Telit yom, sort shouf shwai bi 3aini el shmal.

teacher During the kawa3ed class, the teacher (T) asked Abed (A):
T: Abed, i3rob "Daraba el-Oustazou et-Tilmiza"
A: Daraba; Fi3l Ijraam; El-Oustazou: Ibn 7haraam, Et-Tilimiza: Ya 7haraam

Claudia Schiffer One day Claudia Schiffer was visiting Beirut. Accompanied by a guide she saw all the touristy attractions. The guide then asked her if there is anything else else she wanted to see, She said that she wanted to meet a typical Lebanese. The guide decided that the most typical Lebanese is Abu El Abed (AA), so he took here to AA who was having his nargila at his favorite coffee shop near Rawcheh.

In the conversation with AA, Claudia remarked that she loves Lebanon, but the only problem is that there are too many religions and sects in Lebanon. "There is only one God, why have him represented by so many sects and religions fighting each other," she remarked.

AA replied, "You are wrong Claudia there is more than one God.

Claudia wondered, "What do you mean there is more than one God?"

AA, "Of course, there is more than one God, do you mean to tell me that the God who created you is the same one that created Em El Abed.?"

Movie Q: Why did 18 homsis go to a movie?
A: Because below 18 was not allowed !!!