What do Bill Gates and Bill Clinton have in common?
They're both being investigated for their GUI applications.
How does Bill Clinton teach a woman to golf?
He starts with the irons and ends up in the woods.
What's the definition of an Arkansas Virgin?
A girl that can run faster than the Governor.
What does Teddy Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he did?
A dead girlfriend.
Why is Clinton so interested in events in the Middle East?
He thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar.
One unfortunate day, Bill Clinton and the Pope both died, Clinton was condemned to Hell and Pope was going to be sent to Heaven. But this all got muddled up and they were sent to the wrong places. So, an angel was sent down to Hell to get the Pope and a devil was sent up to get Clinton, as they were being led towards their destination, they met in the middle. "I'm really looking forward to meeting the Virgin Mary," the Pope said. "Ermm, you're 5 minutes too late," replied Clinton.
Bill and Hillary are on a sinking boat. Who gets saved?
The nation.
Al Gore and Hillary Clinton wanted to play a joke on the president.
So she called Bill Clinton at the oval office. When he answered, Hillary told him that she was pregnant. The president didn't say anything for five minutes. Then he finally came out of it, and said, "Who is this? "
Many of people have ridden the titanic, same with Clinton, so lets call him the Clintanic.
Hillary had an accident and an early demise. Arriving at the Pearly Gates, she stomped up to the head of the line at St. Peter's desk. St. Peter politely informed her that down on Earth she may have had privileges, but up here she would have to wait her turn in line. While waiting, she noticed one wall covered with hundreds of thousands of clocks and she noticed that occasionally one would jump ahead by 15 minutes. She asked the person sitting next to her what this was all about. "Well, as I understand it, each of these clocks represents some man down on Earth. Each time he commits adultery, his time is advanced by 15 minutes."
"Can you tell me which is my husband's clock? " Hillary asked St. Peter.
"Oh, yes," St. Peter replied. "God has it in his office. He uses it as a fan."
Political Jokes
