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English Jokes

Greek Jokes

The year is 2012
and the United States of America has recently elected the first Greek-American President. So the President-elect calls up his mother a few weeks after election day: "So ma,I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?"

"I don't think so. It's a ten hour drive, and your father isn't as young as he used to be, and my gout is acting up again."

"Don't worry about it Mom, I'll send Air Force One to pick you up and take you home. And a limousine will pick you up at your door."

"I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy, I don't know what on Earth I would wear."

"Oh mom," replies the new president, "don't worry about it. I'll make sure you have a wonderful gown by Christian Dior."

"Honey," Mom complains, "you know I can't eat those rich foods you and your friends like to eat."

The President-to-be responds, "Don't worry Mom. The entire affair is going to be handled by the best Greek caterer in New York, and you can tell him how to make the Tiropitakia. Mom, I want you to come."

So Mom agrees and so on January 21, 2013, the son is being sworn in as President of the United States of America. In the front row sits the New President's mother, who leans over to a Senator sitting next to her; "You see that man over there with his hand on the Bible, becoming President of the United States?"

The Senator whispers back, "Yes I do."

"His brother is a doctor."

Greek mother's
Greek mother's telegram to son: "Begin worrying. Details to follow."

difference
Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Greek Mother?
A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.

Greek mother
Did you hear about the bum who walked up to the Greek mother on the Street and said, "Lady, I haven't eaten in three days." "Force yourself," she replied.

Greek mothers
Q - How many Greek mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
A - (Sigh) Don't bother, I'll sit in the dark, I don't want to be a nuisance to anybody.

Greek husband
Q - Where does a Greek husband hide money from his wife?
A - Under the vacuum cleaner.

A Greek boy
comes home from school and tells his mother he's been given a part in the school play. "Wonderful. What part is it?" The boy says, "I play the part of the Greek husband." The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part. "

A man
calls his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?" "Not too good," says the mother. "I've been very weak." The son says, "Why are you so weak?" She says, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days." The man says, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?" The mother answers, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call."

Doctor
When the doctor called Mrs. Megakolos to tell her that her check came back, she replied, "So did my arthritis."

Greek
Q: Why do Greek Mothers make great parole officers?
A: They never let anyone finish a sentence.