Archive - Funny Quotes

Sophisticated
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it. 

Unknown
I'd love to go out with you, but I want to spend more time with my blender."  

Daniele Vare
"Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way."  

Audrey Giorgi
"Once in a while you have to take a break and visit yourself."  

James H. Boren
"It is hard to look up to a leader who keeps his ear to the ground."  

Fran Lebowitz
"Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep."  

Steven King
ON YOUTH "Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy in a jar on my desk."  

Shakespeare
"I'll moider da bum." Heavyweight boxer Tony Galento, when asked what he thought of William  

Edith Zittler
"The only way to stop smoking is to just stop – no ifs, ands or butts."  

Mel Gibson
Women say all men are the same, but they have no problem telling you how different you are from Mel Gibson